How to End Your Marriage Peacefully: Achieve A Peaceful Divorce With These 8 Tips
Divorce is challenging when you’re ending your marriage and embarking on the legal process to dissolve it. Even if you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye anymore, divorce doesn’t have to be adversarial. There are steps you can take to leave your marriage peacefully and set yourself up to successfully start a new chapter after divorce.
This article provides 8 tips from our experienced divorce lawyer on how to approach ending your marriage and navigating the divorce process in a way that minimizes conflict with your ex-spouse. Following these suggestions can help make your divorce as amicable as possible, allowing you to move forward on good terms after the end of your marriage.
Whether children are involved or not, these strategies will help you manage your emotions, communicate effectively, and make level-headed decisions through the challenges of uncoupling.
Why is an Amicable Divorce Important?
Going through a divorce when children are involved means you will be co-parenting with your ex for years to come. A heated divorce and ongoing conflict with your ex will only cause more stress on you and your children. An amicable divorce will allow you to maintain a civil relationship as co-parents.
Even if you don’t have children, there are good reasons to peacefully end your marriage. A contentious divorce usually means increased legal fees and court costs as you fight over assets and other marital issues. An amicable process allows you to settle issues more quickly and cost-effectively.
Ending on good terms also provides the closure needed to move forward with your life after divorce. Leaving the marriage with compassion allows you to start fresh without carrying resentment into future relationships.
What steps can I take to achieve a peaceful divorce?
To achieve a peaceful divorce, it’s important to approach the process with a calm and cooperative mindset, seek guidance from a family lawyer, and focus on finding mutually acceptable solutions for all aspects of the divorce.
Here are 8 Tips that will help you leave a marriage peacefully:
1. Communicate Respectfully to Your Spouse
The first key tip is maintaining respectful communication with your ex-partner as you go through a divorce.
- Don’t play the “blame game” or use hurtful language; this will only create resentment. Be thoughtful about what you say and how you say it.
- Have open and honest discussions with your spouse about ending the marriage. Express your desire to handle the process maturely for both your sakes.
- Listen when your spouse expresses thoughts and feelings. Validate their perspective by showing you intend to handle the end of your marriage with care.
- Keep talks focused on the logistical tasks of the divorce, like dividing assets. Don’t get dragged into past grievances or arguments.
- Be cooperative and flexible when you can reasonably do so. Look for compromises versus taking inflexible stances.
The more you and your spouse can have productive discussions while being respectful of each other’s emotions, the more likely you’ll be able to end your marriage peacefully.
2. How Mediation Can Lead to an Amicable Divorce
One of the best ways to achieve an amicable divorce is through mediation. In mediation, you and your spouse meet with a qualified mediator to negotiate the terms of your divorce. The mediator facilitates discussions but does not take sides or make decisions.
Mediation allows you and your spouse to have productive conversations, voice your opinions, and come to mutual agreements about important divorce issues like:
Because you make the decisions together in mediation, both spouses are more likely to feel the outcome is fair. Mediation typically costs less than an adversarial divorce route. It also gives you more control over the process and the chance to end your marriage cooperatively.
3. Make Your Children the Priority
When divorce mediation stalls because you and your spouse can’t agree on custody arrangements, refocus discussions by prioritizing your children’s best interests.
- Make time to discuss each child’s needs and which parenting schedule will provide stability.
- Agree that you won’t comment negatively about each other in front of the kids.
- Find ways to make co-parenting work smoothly, like using an online calendar to coordinate schedules.
Making your children the top concern will help motivate you and your spouse to find compromises. If you can’t make a reasonable decision, a family lawyer can provide recommendations based on your children’s well-being.
4. Make Logical, Not Emotional, Decisions
It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by emotion when going through a divorce. However, making level-headed, rational choices will lead to the smoothest outcome.
- Take time to process your feelings before discussing logistics with your spouse. Don’t make reactive choices in the heat of the moment.
- When negotiating the division of marital assets, approach it logically versus trying to “punish” your spouse. Look at values objectively.
- Be reasonable when considering issues like child custody, visitation, and support. Don’t let emotion cloud what’s best for any children involved.
- Consult your divorce lawyer to know your legal rights and options. Use their impartial advice when making decisions.
- If you feel upset, take time to cool down before continuing discussions with your ex-spouse.
Staying focused on the practical realities, versus giving in to negative feelings, will help you make decisions judiciously during your divorce proceedings.
5. Hire a Collaborative Divorce Attorney
Hiring the right divorce lawyer is key to ending your marriage smoothly. Consider an uncontested divorce attorney who is committed to settling out of court.
- They agree to negotiate in good faith to reach a divorce settlement without litigation. This avoids escalating conflict between you and your spouse.
- Collaborative attorneys help facilitate cooperation and compromise, not contention, during the divorce process.
- You, your spouse, and both attorneys sign an agreement to disclose all relevant information and regularly meet to settle the divorce terms amicably.
- If no settlement is reached, the collaborative attorneys withdraw and you must hire new counsel for litigation. This motivates everyone to find an accord.
Collaborative divorce lawyers take an interest-based approach, aiming for win-win outcomes. This helps you and your spouse end your marriage as allies versus adversaries.
6. Look Out For Your Own Emotional Well-Being
The stress of divorce mediation and transitioning into a new life phase can take an emotional toll. Give yourself extra self-care during this time, including:
- Leaning on trusted friends and family for support
- Seeing a counselor or therapist
- Exercising regularly
- Practicing meditation, yoga, or journaling
- Taking time away by enjoying hobbies or short trips
When you feel emotionally balanced, staying calm and making rational decisions during mediation sessions is easier. Don’t be afraid to press pause and resume discussions later when needed.
7. Be Willing to Compromise on Finances
Untangling finances is often rated as the most contentious issue for divorcing couples. Be prepared to compromise on the division of assets, debts, spousal and child support for a peaceful outcome.
- Provide complete financial records so there are no surprises later.
- Consider letting your spouse keep assets with sentimental value to them, even if the financial value is greater to you.
- Offer concessions in certain areas if your spouse does as well.
- Accept that you may not end up with exactly 50%, but the split should still be fair overall.
- Get an impartial appraisal of assets if you can’t agree on value.
Aim for a win-win financial settlement instead of insisting the numbers fall perfectly in your favor. A few compromises now can save you money and stress in the long run.
8. Look to the Future
It’s hard not to dwell on the end of your marriage during a divorce. However, looking ahead to life after the divorce can motivate you to end things positively.
- Visualize reestablishing stability and happiness for yourself and any children involved once the divorce is finalized.
- If co-parenting, consider how best to cooperate with your ex-spouse for your child’s well-being.
- Imagine feeling ready to start new relationships once your marital status is dissolved. Your next chapter has yet to be written.
- Consider how ending your marriage in an uplifting manner sets a strong foundation for your post-divorce life.
- Know that you will get through this challenging transition and come out wiser on the other side.
Looking forward, not backward, will help summon your most gracious, optimistic mindset. This allows you to give the end of your marriage the dignity it deserves.
End Your Marriage Peacefully
As you navigate ending your marriage, keep these tips in mind:
- Prioritize your children’s well-being when making divorce decisions. Don’t put them in the middle.
- Work cooperatively as co-parents for the sake of your children.
- Stay calm during challenging conversations and take breaks if needed.
- Listen respectfully to your spouse’s perspective. Seek to understand, even if you disagree.
- Compromise instead of digging in on demands. Meet in the middle.
- Get professional help from an amicable divorce attorney and mediator to guide you.
- Take care of yourself so you can think clearly and stay composed.
- Keep your eyes on the prize – a new chapter in your life, free of bitterness.
At Okoye Law, we believe in guiding our clients in Rock Hill, SC, toward a solution that works best for everyone involved. Armed with these strategies and the support of experienced professionals, you can transition into your next chapter with a sense of closure, optimism, and hope for the future. Contact us today to discuss your options.